Eating disorder

2012-01-20T12:42:00.000-08:00

So, today, 20.01.2012 was the last day that I ate sweets. I seariously mean that!
I am soo full of sweets that I am sick. I don`t know what is wrong with me because sweets are not good for my health and they cause me acne also. I love any kind of chocolate and when I don`t get anything sweet I just go crazy because I am soo cling to it. I have noticed that when I get something sweet to my mouth I just can`t stop, it is soo hard. This is why I have decided to make an aversion therapy from sweets. It is ALL or NOTHING! So, what I did was that I made myself a table of week where I will mark ticks. I mark ticks only when I don`t eat anything sweet including fruits because they make me even want more candy. The Only fruit that I will eat is an apple because one apple a day keeps the doctor away. Also, this table also goes to my other eating habbits such as overgorging. When I get by without overgorging, I will suceed and get rid of this stupid habbit. I am sure of that because I got rid of eating chips and junk food like that, so why can`t I do it with sweets?
PS! WHEN I REALLY WANT TO PUT SOMETHING SWEET IN MY MOUTH I WILL DRING GLASS OF ICE COLD WATER AND THINK ABOUT EATING POOP!

I got pills(talk about why in another post) and my doctor said that this might make me want food even more and I am really worried about that. Now I will make myself a menu what I will eat during the day and I have to stick to it even when it makes me want to climb on the wall:
First of all, I will say that next 2 days are soup and liquid days because my body has to normalize from this over eating.
1) Morning(7 AM) M-F
One boiled egg with bread and tomato and other vegetables on bread, black coffee, vitamins, glass of water
OR
porridge with jam
2) Lunch WITHOUT DESSERT, water(11.30 AM)
3) Snack+coffee or tea or water(15.15 PM) The snack means pistachio nuts(15)
4) Dinner=vegetable soup or bouillon
5) An apple(Somewhere between 17-18 PM)

S-S
1) Breakfast(10.00 AM)
One boiled egg with bread and tomato and other vegetables on bread, black coffee, vitamins, glass of water
OR
porridge with jam
3) Snack+coffee or tea or water(15.15 PM) The snack means pistachio nuts(15), an apple
2) Dinner(17.00 PM)

I hope I can do it and feel well aswell and get rid of that stupid habbit of eating sweets!
IF I CAN DO IT FOR A MONTH THEN I WILL PROMOTE MYSELF WITH ICE CREAM COCTAIL IN THE PUB OR SOMEWHERE ELSE! I WON`T PROMOTE MYSELF AT HOME BECAUSE THEN I WILL DRINK MORE AND MORE THAT COCTAIL!

Why am I here?

2012-01-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

Since I am all alone with my thoughts, I decided to write them down and get complete overview what I am struggeling with and how I can solve those problems. I have problems that I think all of us have had or are having. Sorry, if my english is not perfect and actually I am not even writing to anyone, I am writing to myself.
My problems are next:
1) Eating disorder-my worst nighmare. I can eat nothing or too much sweets or just too much food. I am always thinking about food and plan what and when I will eat. I am really uncomfortable with my weight which is not even a big number... I think I am just worried about my looks.
2) Acne-my second worst nightmare. This is soo out of control.
3) Studying-it is my problem but things are little bit different with this.
My next post will probably talk about my eating disorder and how I want to fix it.

Life is one big challange where we can win battles but never the war!

Eating disorder

Why am I here?